How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
1) "The light bulb doesn't need changing, it's the system that needs to change." 2) None. Social workers never change anything. 3) None. They empower it to change itself! 4) None. The light bulb is not burnt out, it's just differently lit. 5) None. They set up a team to write a paper on coping with darkness. 6) Two. One to change the bulb and another to put your kids into care. 7) Five. One to screw it in, three to form the support group, and one to help with placement.
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital emergency room. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to lawyer and the other to a social worker".
The man quickly responds, "the lawyer's".
The doctor says, "Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"
The man says, "I already know enough. We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts and the lawyer's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"
How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger.